National parks

Questions asked of park rangers

Grand Canyon National Park
 Was this man-made?
 Do you light it up at night?
 I bought tickets for the elevator to the bottom-where is it?
 Is the mule train air conditioned?
 So where are the faces of the presidents?

Everglades National Park
 Are the alligators real?
 Are the baby alligators for sale?
 Where are all the rides?
 What time does the two o'clock bus leave?

Denali National Park (Alaska)
 What time do you feed the bears?
 Can you show me where the yeti lives?
 How often do you mow the tundra?
 How much does Mount McKinley weigh?

Mesa Verde National Park
 Did people build this, or did Indians?
 Why did they build the ruins so close to the road?
 What did they worship in the kivas-their own made-up religion?
 Do you know of any undiscovered ruins?
 Why did the Indians decide to live in Colorado?

Carlsbad Caverns National Park
 How much of the cave is underground?
 So what's in the unexplored part of the cave?
 Does it ever rain in here?
 How many Ping-Pong balls would it take to fill this up?
 So what is this - just a hole in the ground?

Yosemite National Park
 Where are the cages for the animals?
 What time do you turn on Yosemite Falls?
 Can I get my picture taken with the carving of President Clinton?

Yellowstone National Park
 Does Old Faithful erupt at night?
 How do you turn it on?
 When does the guy who turns it on get to sleep?
 We had no trouble finding the park entrances, but where are the
 exits?



Questions asked by Banff Park tourists

Yes, they're ALL TRUE as heard at the information kiosks manned by
Parks Canada staff !
 
1. How do the elk know they're supposed to cross at the "Elk Crossing" signs?
2. At what elevation does an elk become a moose?
3. Tourist: "How do you pronounce 'Elk'?"
   Park Information Staff: " 'Elk' "
   Tourist: "Oh".
4. Are the bears with collars tame?
5. Is there anywhere I can see the bears pose?
6. Is it okay to keep an open bag of bacon on the picnic table, or should I
   store it in my tent?
7. Where can I find Alpine Flamingos?
8. I saw an animal on the way to Banff today - could you tell me what it was?
9. Are there birds in Canada?
10. Did I miss the turnoff for Canada?
11. Where does Alberta end and Canada begin?
12. Do you have a map of the State of Jasper?
13. Is this the part of Canada that speaks French, or is 
    that Saskatchewan?
14. If I go to B.C., do I have to go through Ontario?
15. Which is the way to the Columbia Ricefields?
16. How far is Banff from Canada?
17. What's the best way to see Canada in a day?
18. Do they search you at the B.C. border?
19. When we enter B.C. do we have to convert our money to British pounds?
20. Where can I buy a raccoon hat?  ALL Canadians own one, don't they?
21. Are there phones in Banff?
22. So it's eight kilometres away... is that in miles?
23. We're on the decibel system you know.
24. Where can I get my husband really, REALLY, lost??
25. Is that two kilometres by foot or by car?
26. Don't you Canadians know anything?
27. Where do you put the animals at night?
28. Tourist: "How do you get your lakes so blue?"
    Park staff: "We take the water out in the winter and paint the bottom".
    Tourist: "Oh!"